Narcissism does not exist in my country, does it even exist in Africa as a whole? Does anyone understand what mental health is all about? There has been a lot of talk about gender based violence particularly in my country Zimbabwe. But I think the world as a whole is evolving and GBV as we know it is also changing.
I am a mother of two beautiful daughters and have been married to a narcissist/ psychopath…….whatever he is but what I know for sure is that he suffers from one Cluster B personality disorder. Trying to make people understand that this person suffers from a mental disorder has been my greatest obstacle over the past 9 months. No one understands mental health, there are a few articles that have appeared in our local newspapers from psychologists but, even the health professionals do not take it seriously. Whenever I try….(God knows I have tried) to explain that all these false allegations, all this physical abuse, all this harassment, all this stalking is a form of abuse, all I get is that it is his way of showing his love to you. How can someone love you when all they do is verbally, emotionally, physically, and financially abuse you?.
It is appalling to realise that most people still believe in witchcraft instead of science when it comes to mental health issues. Am i really cursed for getting into a relationship with a narcissist?
My then 7 year old daughter (Sandsa)told me to go and she made me a card when he choked me in December 2016. She made me a card that will always remain a part of me wherever I go. This is the picture that I am using as my logo for my blog. My then 4 year old daughter (Kan) said ‘mummy you are my deepest secret because I love you’. All because their father does not allow them to show affection to me, so the only way that they can do that is by keeping it a secret. How does a 7 year old and a 4 year old keep secrets. At their age they already know how to act and what to say when their dad is around. They scurry around as soon as his car shows up at the gate. I just want my kids to be normal. I want them to play in the sand pit all day long and not worry about keeping secrets and who is in the house.
Everyday I cry myself to sleep because I left them with their father, my helper promised me she would take care of them. I have known her for almost 4 years now (though as of last week she helped him incriminate me in one of his false allegations). He has turned her against me as well.
This blog is maybe my way to vent but also my way of bringing narcissist abuse awareness in Zimbabwe. I have written an open letter to the ministry of women affairs, I have written an open letter to Huffington post, maybe someone will hear my cry for help. I am tired of the verbal abuse through his emails that he sends on almost a daily basis, I am tired of the harassment whenever he sees me he starts taking pictures, I am tired of the threats which always lend in my inbox everyday, I am tired of the smear campaigns as nothing will stop him from pulling away anyone that tries to help or support me. I live in hiding as I am scared that an opportunity where I am in a vulnerable place he will kill me but unfortunately no one understands that, this is a man who has attacked me twice in public. But still everyone says its because he loves you, does harassment qualify as love?
Gender based violence with a narcissist is different, please help support these women who are involved with people who have a high IQ, any loopoles within the law is what they take advantage of. I have slept in police cells because he knows that anyone that is reported whether false or not can be detained in police cells for about 48hrs. He has all my information and so he makes use of that to create false allegations. He makes sure to pay off the cops and and anyone that is influential so that I get arrested. Through his emails he has told me he will make sure I suffer and when I show that to the police or anyone in authority they either laugh it off and he says I am a drama queen. I am I a drama queen for reporting abuse? Isn’t that emotional abuse where my protection order should be protecting me against such?
Narcissist abuse is a form of love in Zimbabwe, psychopathic abuse is being a drama queen in my country, cluster B personality disorders is witchcraft and evil spirits. Maybe one day the world will see the extent of this type of abuse where one is forced to live with C-PTSD and my community still says its love, or witchcraft, or evil spirits.